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--- early_ray [2021/10/03 19:44]
poikilos
+++ early_ray [2021/10/03 20:55]
poikilos
@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 **Early Ray:**
-This page discusses memories of Ray from childhood. I'll go into other parts of childhood later. I'm starting with Ray because he was one of the most important figures.
+The [[childhood|Childhood]] chapter is largely about Ray Gustafson beat(shy)ing me until I was cover(shy)ed with bruises and suf(shy)foca(shy)ting me as well. That is most of what I remem(shy)ber about Ray except for the quasi-rape inci(shy)dents. This cha(shy)pter, Early Ray, covers the latter inci(shy)dents and fills in some of the gaps.
+</WRAP>
+<WRAP round box justify>
 I've tried to assemble positive memories. There aren't very many. I'd like to see and present a balanced picture and others are invited to help with that.
@@ Line 56: / Line 58: @@
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-As Ray Gustafson moved into adoles(shy)cence his behavior
+As Ray Gustafson moved into adoles(shy)cence, his behavior became more crude. Eventual(shy)ly, it crossed the line into sexual harass(shy)ment and the implied threat of rape.
-became more crude and eventual(shy)ly it crossed the line into sexual harass(shy)ment and even the implied threat of rape.
 </WRAP>
@@ Line 67: / Line 68: @@
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 I tried to run, but I couldn't get away from him. Ray Gustafson
-was a train(shy)ed wrestler, 4 years older, and was easily able
+was a train(shy)ed wrestler, 4 years older, and physically close to
-to pin me down.
+being an adult. He was easily able to pin down an 11-year-old.
 I struggled, moved my head back and forth, and cried and
-scream(shy)ed as loudly as I could. How(shy)ever, after a minute or two, he pin(shy)ned my head as well. He forcibly inserted the
+scream(shy)ed as loudly as I could. How(shy)ever, after a minute or two, he pin(shy)ned my head as well.
+He forcibly inserted the
 pubic hair into my mouth by shov(shy)ing the fingers that were
 hold(shy)ing it into the orifice.
@@ Line 77: / Line 80: @@
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-Ray Gustafson's sexual behavior became truly dis(shy)turb(shy)ing when he reached the age of 16.
+Ray Gustafson's sexual behavior became more
+dis(shy)turb(shy)ing when he reached the age of 16.
 When Ray was 16 and I was 12, he wanted to see my penis.
 He opened a bath(shy)room window from the base(shy)ment stair(shy)well while I was urinating. I asked him why he did it. He said, "I wanted to see how you were devel(shy)op(shy)ing".
-During the same period, Ray caressed my back and my hip and said,
+That incident wasn't so unusual by itself. However, during the
+same period, Ray caressed my back and my hip and said,
 "Hey baby, you're cute" or some(shy)thing like that in an
 attempt at an alluring voice.
@@ Line 157: / Line 162: @@
 I wasn't always passive about being struck.
-One time after Ray hurt me, I saw him laughing and watching TV hours later. I snuck up and punched him in the side of the face. I did that another time, too.
+One time after Ray hurt me, I saw him laughing and watching TV hours later. I snuck up and
+punch(shy)ed him in the side of the face. I did that another time, too.
-Ray insisted, as a youth, and insists, as an adult, that I "cold-cocked" him for no reason, "out of the blue".
+Ray insisted, as a youth, and insists, as an adult, that I "cold-cocked" him for no reason,
+"out of the blue".
-The disagreement is more than a kerfuffle. Incidents like these affect small children. They need to feel safe. I don't think Ray should be around them.
+The disagreement is more than a kerfuffle. Incidents like these affect children. They need to feel safe. I don't think Ray should be around them.
-There's no irony in saying this after I struck Ray while his guard was down. I was a fraction of his size and weight and just didn't want to be hurt.
+There's no irony in saying this after I struck Ray while his guard was down. I was a
+frac(shy)tion of his size and weight and just didn't want to be hurt.
 </WRAP>
 <WRAP round box justify>
 **Positive memories:**

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