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early_ray [2021/10/03 19:44] poikilos |
early_ray [2021/10/04 00:56] poikilos |
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**Early Ray:** | **Early Ray:** | ||
- | This page discusses memories of Ray from childhood. I'll go into other parts of childhood later. I'm starting with Ray because he was one of the most important figures. | + | The [[childhood|Childhood]] chapter is largely about Ray Gustafson beat(shy)ing me until I was cover(shy)ed with bruises and suf(shy)foca(shy)ting me as well. That is most of what I remem(shy)ber about Ray except for the quasi-rape inci(shy)dents. This cha(shy)pter, |
+ | </ | ||
+ | <WRAP round box justify> | ||
I've tried to assemble positive memories. There aren't very many. I'd like to see and present a balanced picture and others are invited to help with that. | I've tried to assemble positive memories. There aren't very many. I'd like to see and present a balanced picture and others are invited to help with that. | ||
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- | As Ray Gustafson moved into adoles(shy)cence his behavior | + | As Ray Gustafson moved into adoles(shy)cence, his behavior became more crude. Eventual(shy)ly, it crossed the line into sexual harass(shy)ment and the implied threat of rape. |
- | became more crude and eventual(shy)ly it crossed the line into sexual harass(shy)ment and even the implied threat of rape. | + | |
</ | </ | ||
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I tried to run, but I couldn' | I tried to run, but I couldn' | ||
- | was a train(shy)ed wrestler, 4 years older, and was easily able | + | was a train(shy)ed wrestler, 4 years older, and physically close to |
- | to pin me down. | + | being an adult. He was easily able to pin down an 11-year-old. |
I struggled, moved my head back and forth, and cried and | I struggled, moved my head back and forth, and cried and | ||
- | scream(shy)ed as loudly as I could. How(shy)ever, | + | scream(shy)ed as loudly as I could. How(shy)ever, |
+ | |||
+ | He forcibly inserted the | ||
pubic hair into my mouth by shov(shy)ing the fingers that were | pubic hair into my mouth by shov(shy)ing the fingers that were | ||
hold(shy)ing it into the orifice. | hold(shy)ing it into the orifice. | ||
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- | Ray Gustafson' | + | Ray Gustafson' |
+ | dis(shy)turb(shy)ing when he reached the age of 16. | ||
When Ray was 16 and I was 12, he wanted to see my penis. | When Ray was 16 and I was 12, he wanted to see my penis. | ||
He opened a bath(shy)room window from the base(shy)ment stair(shy)well while I was urinating. I asked him why he did it. He said, "I wanted to see how you were devel(shy)op(shy)ing" | He opened a bath(shy)room window from the base(shy)ment stair(shy)well while I was urinating. I asked him why he did it. He said, "I wanted to see how you were devel(shy)op(shy)ing" | ||
- | During | + | That incident wasn't so unusual by itself. However, during |
- | "Hey baby, you're cute" or some(shy)thing | + | same period, Ray caressed my back and my hip and said, |
+ | "Hey baby, you're cute" or some(shy)thing | ||
attempt at an alluring voice. | attempt at an alluring voice. | ||
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I wasn't always passive about being struck. | I wasn't always passive about being struck. | ||
- | One time after Ray hurt me, I saw him laughing and watching TV hours later. I snuck up and punched | + | One time after Ray hurt me, I saw him laughing and watching TV hours later. I snuck up and |
+ | punch(shy)ed | ||
- | Ray insisted, as a youth, and insists, as an adult, that I " | + | Ray insisted, as a youth, and insists, as an adult, that I " |
+ | "out of the blue". | ||
- | The disagreement is more than a kerfuffle. Incidents like these affect | + | The disagreement is more than a kerfuffle. Incidents like these affect children. They need to feel safe. I don't think Ray should be around them. |
- | There' | + | There' |
+ | frac(shy)tion | ||
</ | </ | ||
+ | |||
<WRAP round box justify> | <WRAP round box justify> | ||
**Positive memories:** | **Positive memories:** |