Overcomers

What is the Overcomers book?

What caused me to start the Overcomers book (in website form) was to warn people regarding specific people in my life who abused authority and in other cases trust in Churches and other Christian groups. There wasn't typically a clear-cut rise and fall. People like me who were close to the individual situations knew better. I couldn't stay silent as they continued using their past as credentials to unwitting people, some of whom became victims in some sense, and some some of whom were given an incorrect impression or explanation of God and the Bible.

Song of Solomon 2:15 (NCV) seems to be the right metaphor, at least for the intimate side of the situations (Though some of them were even more harmful than the minimal interpretation due to power imbalance):

Catch the foxes for us—
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards
while they are in blossom.

Why does this apply? Because a vineyard in Song of Solomon is the intimate life of an individual. So little foxes that ruin them could be people I've discussed, in some cases. Yet, I have found peace with God despite feeling like my life was ruined, and I want you to be able to find that as well. This requires not letting such people be representative of God in your life. Much of the confusion can be dispelled by realizing these weren't cases of "how could a Christian do that" but cases of outright frauds, which for some of us who were close to the situations was clear or had serious red flags that others didn't notice (nor have ever yet learned to notice). The enablers were perhaps naive, but accountability is necessary nonetheless as they placed the preservation of image (of the self or institution) over the safety of potential victims.

The book became a message for a broader audience by discussing the issue of "just love on them" vs confronting and choosing leaders and connections wisely.

I couldn't speak in a trustworthy way on without being clear about my own failings of being a hypocrite when I was a student in a Christian school or of later getting involved with "Chameleon."

Though openly discussing matters of public concern can begin to help people process the harms, even that isn't enough. Reflecting on positive aspects of my childhood and life including supportive people makes the story easier to read and helps people process heavy topics in general. Discussing root causes and potential solutions is also important. Sometimes knowing "How did they get that way?" even helps process trauma or disillusionment even though it doesn't make something right.

Addressing such matters also must include reporting crimes and preventing enablement wherever applicable.

In a general sense, predators can't be trusted to just "get better" (See also JG Survivor Resources). Even the non-criminal acts of impropriety were very difficult or life-altering for people heavily involved with Ray and Chameleon such as myself and several other people.

The last iteration of the book was helpful to people who were survivors at some level, but others found some parts offensive. Humor can help people stay engaged, and I think there is a place for mocking evil. However, having an editor who wasn't a Christian may have placed too much emphasis on that, and distracted from an important goal: To help people separate their view of Christians (or phonies) who failed them from their view of God.

So why can't I just tell you that? Or list a bunch of wrong things that happened? Because that isn't the point. I'm not listing grievances for my benefit. This is an advice book. You have to understand what really happened and why, to be convinced. Then you may become one of those who know how to be wary without being paranoid, to have proper boundaries without being bitter, and how to avoid creating a self-protective "Faith" (an internal nickname of my former church and school) without forsaking faith itself. To take my advice you have to walk in my shoes to understand the importance of that advice. Biblical confrontation, proper boundaries, and awareness of red flags are predictive and preventative, but like free advice, seldom heeded. So I invite you to give me the benefit of the doubt, and walk with me for a while, and see the evidence in my life.

This is what I have so far: Read more...