Overcomers

What is the Overcomers book?

What caused me to start the Overcomers book (in website form) was to warn people off specific people in my life, Ray and later "Chameleon" of First Baptist Church of Perkasie and Baptist Bible College (later called Clark's Summit University, defunct in 2025), who abused authority and in other cases trust in Churches and other Christian groups. There wasn't a clear-cut rise and fall. People like me who were close to the situation knew better. I couldn't stay silent as they continued using their past as credentials to unwitting people, some of whom became victims in some sense, and some some of whom were given an incorrect impression or explanation of God and the Bible. So my goal wasn't to vent as a form of therapy—I've already improved my own life. My goal was to prevent apparent and potential ongoing harm.

Song of Solomon 2:15 (NCV) seems to be the right metaphor, at least for the intimate side of the situations (Though some of them were even more harmful than the minimal interpretation due to power imbalance):

Catch the foxes for us—
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards
while they are in blossom.

Why does this apply? Because a vineyard in Song of Solomon is the intimate life of an individual. So little foxes that ruin them could be people I've discussed, in some cases. Yet, I have found peace with God despite feeling like my life was ruined, and I want you to be able to find that as well. This requires not letting such people be representative of God in your life. Much of the confusion can be dispelled by realizing these weren't cases of "how could a Christian do that" but cases of outright frauds, which for some of us who were close to the situations was clear or had serious red flags that others didn't notice (nor have ever yet learned to notice). The enablers were perhaps naive, but accountability is necessary nonetheless as they placed the preservation of image (of the self or institution) over the safety of potential victims.

The book became a message for a broader audience by discussing the issue of "just love on them" vs confronting and choosing leaders and connections wisely. Churches and other groups often elevate a self-promoting person who quickly adapts to their group expectations, which is sometimes an unhealthy but common "pecking order" dynamic. Regardless of the group dynamics, 1 Timothy 3:6 is often not considered, and narcissists and other manipulators are quick to adapt and promote themselves subtly or overtly.

I couldn't speak in a trustworthy way on Ray or Chameleon without giving a balanced view of them, making my own failures clear (becoming legalistic and hypocritical during school, then later getting involved with Chameleon), or mentioning family and church issues that seemed to play a role in their rise and fall. I couldn't do that with without mentioning other people in our lives by two or fewer degrees of separation from them who abused positions, such as family and church members.

Though openly discussing matters of public concern can begin to help people process the harms, even that isn't enough. Reflecting on positive aspects of my childhood and life including supportive people makes the story easier to read and helps people process heavy topics in general. Discussing root causes and potential solutions is also important. "Just forgive" is not the solution—Addressing crimes and serious improprieties can include forgiveness, but not "just" that. Even if it does, reconciliation isn't to be expected in such cases, and breaking boundaries indicates a lack of repentance regarding boundaries at minimum, if not the initial offense.

Addressing such matters also must include reporting crimes and preventing enablement wherever applicable.

In a general sense, predators can't be trusted to just "get better" (See also JG Survivor Resources). A common red flag is vague apologies seeking sympathy for themselves, not being willing to admit to specifics of harm. In cases I've known, the dire results of enabling were that the behavior was repeated. Even the non-criminal acts of impropriety were very difficult or life-altering for people heavily involved with Ray and Chameleon such as myself and several other people.

The last iteration of the book was helpful to people who were survivors at some level, but others found some parts offensive. Humor can help people stay engaged, and I think there is a place for mocking evil. However, having an editor who wasn't a Christian may have placed too much emphasis on that, and distracted from an important goal: To help people separate their view of Christians (or phonies) who failed them from their view of God.

Discussing matters of public concern publicly was intended to prevent further harm. Doing so and even naming names even occurred several times in the Bible (B.C. and A.D.). Hopefully if I rewrite this I will say "what people need to hear in such a way that they want to hear it," as my speech professor tried to teach me. However, it is counterproductive and part of cover-up culture to focus on projecting a good exterior, failing to pursue due process which protects people from harm.

Ironically, choosing connections wisely also applies to me in terms of choosing an editor. At the time I didn't really have anyone whom I knew or who knew me who could advise me in a way I could trust over my own understanding (but then, there's also Proverbs 3:5-6 and I seem to have not acknowledged my limits). My current church has been helpful and encouraging.

So why can't I just tell you that? Or list a bunch of wrong things that happened? Because that isn't the point. I'm not listing grievances for my benefit. This is an advice book. You have to understand what really happened and why, to be convinced. Then you may become one of those who know how to be wary without being paranoid, to have proper boundaries without being bitter, and how to avoid creating a self-protective "Faith" (nickname of my former church and school) without forsaking faith itself. To take my advice you have to walk in my shoes to understand the importance of that advice. Biblical confrontation, proper boundaries, and awareness of red flags are predictive and preventative, but like free advice, seldom heeded. So I invite you to give me the benefit of the doubt, and walk with me for a while, and see the evidence in my life.

This is what I have so far: Overcomers