Why Talk About Them, and Why Now?

So why talk about them now? And why me?

Dembrosky and Longaker after their release, and Chameleon in general, have served in churches after all this that I've discussed and more, and I'm not the only one who has expressed concern. Ray has continued to use his credentials as he is known as a former "preacher" even over a decade later, to discredit the Bible. It is important to know that he was just as much out of touch with God, and possibly reality, as I was during high school. Not many people in high school are in touch with reality, to be fair to us both, but that doesn't negate the point. He isn't an authority, and even sometimes made things up about Greek when he was a Bible study leader.

The ability of someone to be forgiven is not the only thing to consider. The main concern is to prevent ongoing harm. That can be prevented by know-how, confronting matters of public concern publicly. That can include the legal system where applicable, or by speaking out where not applicable (after a sentence is served, or if the harm to churches isn't illegal). Ongoing harm is likely in these cases due to signs of false repentance, especially by denying indisputable facts. If someone cannot admit their wrongdoing in a specific way, or can deny it outright, that is not a sign of repentance. I'm a first or second hand witness to many of the original events and eventual denials and recidivism, and in other cases they are a matter of record.

I have seen a disturbing trend from my childhood continued. Churches view perpetrators as people to have endless chances, and to be placed in roles without fact-checking. On the other hand, churches may view survivors of abuse as permanently biased. If victims have ongoing concerns about a perpetrator, they are told to "just forgive." Let me tell you, I have been able to forgive a lot, but it doesn't mean I want the same thing to happen to other people. On the other hand, do you think someone who would harm a child, especially in felonious ways, just may have permanent issues? I do generally believe anyone can change, but if someone can do that, there are sometimes signs that they are not willing despite wanting to be seen as willing, "good," "humble," etc. like most people do.

So what about that "Biblical confrontation" thing I talked about at the beginning? Matthew 18 talks about forgiveness and confronting. I don't think that is a mistake, nor random placement. If the forgiveness and grace aren't balanced out by rigorous confrontation, with a desire to mend but not a guarantee of it, there is a serious threat. Confrontation is the immune system of the church. Sometimes I have seen just a hint of confrontation make someone throw themselves right out. But you don't always get off that easy. Sometimes you have to hold someone to their word, and to the facts. If they don't match, or their is stated or demonstrated unwillingness to change, it may be time to show someone the door.

Then there are matters of public concern. Even the Bible deals with these problems in a more drastic way than showing someone the door. The apostle Paul wrote letters to several churches, including ones who weren't willing to carry out any kind of process. Such a church's immune system has failed. In some cases Paul named the wrong that was being done right in the letter. In some cases, he even named names--and that isn't just a community discussion, and not just a public record, but in this case "it is written" for eternity.